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September 10, 2017
Ever been so tired you thought you could probably fall asleep standing up? It’s definitely been done before, and worse. Standing is only one weird position the super-tired among us have utilized when catching a few Zs. You might not believe the others.
Anyone who follows social media knows that public places make strange places to sleep, but are often selected if you’re inebriated, stranded or just plain too tired to care.
You’ve likely seen the photos — college kids curled up in library cubbies and stranded airline passengers stretched out on floors. But there’re also those serious sleepers who doze off on toilets inside public restrooms, in the overhead storage shelving on buses, and inside shopping carts. Comfortable? Not so much, but who’s to judge the quality of another man’s sleep?
Lots of people have been busted dozing off at work, and not just with their heads down on their desks. Some enterprising folks take the workplace nap to entirely new levels by sleeping on or under the desk, instead of beside it. Utility closets and break rooms also make great bedrooms for the surreptitious workday napper, so does the mattress department inside the super-center and the lowest levels of warehouse racking inside the distribution center.
Have a job where you work all alone? Enjoy being night security or mall cop? Weird sleeping places for people who work these types of jobs are nearly unlimited, so go big. Sack out under the tarp in the comfy chair inside the cell phone kiosk or up on the roof of the guard shack under a starry night sky.
Too shy to fall asleep in public? There are plenty of places at home that are guaranteed to give you a stiff neck and aching joints following a nice, fitful sleep — on the grass of the backyard after mowing, for instance, or passed out over your keyboard in your home office. If you can’t find enough odd, bizarre places to drift off to dream, take inspiration from the kids. They can sleep anywhere in nearly any position, including upside down on a slide or stretched out inside a dog house, using the family beagle as a pillow.
The pretzel is a popular sleeping position when space is limited, so is the plank. The plank can be especially handy when there isn’t a lot of room for rolling — you know, like when you decide that the concrete steps outside the courthouse look enticing. Then there’s always the hunch that happens when hungover office worker meets tiny cubicle; the lean, when horizontal space just isn’t available; and the no longer-care that works anytime, anyplace and is guaranteed to end in job termination or banning.
The next time you’re so tired you could sleep standing up — aim a little higher. Go for funny sleeping positions like upside-down or twisted beyond recognition just to mix it up a bit. A word of advice, however; make sure nobody near you has their camera phone ready and waiting, or you could end up not only fired, but serving as the best new meme of the week as well.